#3 Civility -- Another Perspective

In 1994 M. Scott Peck wrote a book titled "A World Waiting to be Born:  Civility Rediscovered".   Peak started his book with an example:  A man on an airplane, after talking to a fellow passenger, sees him as a business prospect, excuses himself, checks the man's credit rating, then returns with a drink "for his new best friend."  Peak asked the reader why this is wrong.  The reader knows something is off of the mark here, but can't quite put his finger on it.  What is wrong Peak explained,  is that the passenger is really being treated as a "thing" to be exploited, but outwardly is being treated as an intimate friend.  It is an I--IT relationship and is narcissistic.  And narcissism, wrote Peck throughout the book, is really the problem:  people treating others as if they are only "things" there to serve them.  Peak considered this the essence of incivility.

Peak further concluded, that being civil doesn't necessarily mean being polite.  The man on the airplane was polite, but a hypocrite.  Peak believed that "civility means, more than anything else, not being so utterly self-centered that peoples' feelings are never considered."  He further concluded that this true incivility was the cause of many divorces and problems in the workplace.

It seems as though Peak was on the mark 17 years ago, and if anything, the problem has gotten worse.  Despite leaders being very charming, employees get treated as "widgets" (things) to be commanded and controlled.  They are expected to do whatever is requested of them -- even it is unethical or illegal.  This seems to be across the board -- regardless of pay grade.  If you do not go along, you are not considered to be loyal and are therefore, not a team player.  If you are not a team player, in the leader's mind, you may find yourself not invited to the next important meeting, or overlooked for the next promotion.

What is behind this trend?  Are the current leaders, whether at work or in politics, simply narcissistic?  Can they not feel any compassion for others, especially those whose lives and livelihoods they are responsible for?  Can they really be considered leaders without concern or compassion for others?  Maybe the wrong people are being chosen to be leaders.