#4 Leadership

When we talk about leadership, what does that really mean?  It can mean a variety of things to a variety of people,  but there are some universal traits that all good leaders possess.   These traits are:  honesty, integrity, humility, intelligence, and trustworthiness:  in other words, a person who has quality of character.    In addition, a truly good leader will be dedicated, open to listen to others with mutual respect and trust, will treat all with fairness, and be self aware of and insightful about his/her impact on others.  He or she will be able to inspire employees to work together to achieve a common vision and goal.  The best leaders are assertive (not aggressive), often have a sense of humor, and will give credit where credit is due.  In other words they will be interested in the what is good for everyone.    
 
Good leaders seem to be very comfortable in their own skin.  They have a very strong sense of themselves and can admit when they don't know something or they can admit when they have made a mistake -- because no one is perfect.  And because they have the ability to be introspective, they also know that they are not perfect.  They can speak their mind, critique a situation, or mentor an employee.  This is done with respect, and is intended to be helpful, not to demean.  There is a difference in tone and intonation -- and we can all recognize the difference. 

When leaders show up every day and speak their truths, and if they are consistent, over time we get to know who they are and what they stand for.  We can make intelligent decisions as to whether to respect, trust and follow them.  If leaders are inconsistent and do not let us see who they are, it is hard, if not impossible, to build an honest relationship with them or to have confidence in them.  Not only is this true for leaders, it also applies to everyone we have a personal relationship with -- including family members.

Many leaders deliver contradictory messages and when confronted and asked to explain themselves, they get very aggressive and put down whoever is asking the question; rather than just answer the question.  We often mistake this bullying behavior as strength.  True strength does not require anyone to be put down or treated with disrespect -- in fact it is quite the opposite.

All of us need to do a reality check and ask ourselves this question -- are our leaders really leaders or are they bullies disguised as leaders? 

#3 Civility -- Another Perspective

In 1994 M. Scott Peck wrote a book titled "A World Waiting to be Born:  Civility Rediscovered".   Peak started his book with an example:  A man on an airplane, after talking to a fellow passenger, sees him as a business prospect, excuses himself, checks the man's credit rating, then returns with a drink "for his new best friend."  Peak asked the reader why this is wrong.  The reader knows something is off of the mark here, but can't quite put his finger on it.  What is wrong Peak explained,  is that the passenger is really being treated as a "thing" to be exploited, but outwardly is being treated as an intimate friend.  It is an I--IT relationship and is narcissistic.  And narcissism, wrote Peck throughout the book, is really the problem:  people treating others as if they are only "things" there to serve them.  Peak considered this the essence of incivility.

Peak further concluded, that being civil doesn't necessarily mean being polite.  The man on the airplane was polite, but a hypocrite.  Peak believed that "civility means, more than anything else, not being so utterly self-centered that peoples' feelings are never considered."  He further concluded that this true incivility was the cause of many divorces and problems in the workplace.

It seems as though Peak was on the mark 17 years ago, and if anything, the problem has gotten worse.  Despite leaders being very charming, employees get treated as "widgets" (things) to be commanded and controlled.  They are expected to do whatever is requested of them -- even it is unethical or illegal.  This seems to be across the board -- regardless of pay grade.  If you do not go along, you are not considered to be loyal and are therefore, not a team player.  If you are not a team player, in the leader's mind, you may find yourself not invited to the next important meeting, or overlooked for the next promotion.

What is behind this trend?  Are the current leaders, whether at work or in politics, simply narcissistic?  Can they not feel any compassion for others, especially those whose lives and livelihoods they are responsible for?  Can they really be considered leaders without concern or compassion for others?  Maybe the wrong people are being chosen to be leaders.

#2 Civility in the Workplace

Over the past several years, I have noticed an increasing lack of civility in the workplace.  This is not just happening in the workplace; this bad behavior is modeled by our politicians, on "reality" television shows, and at sporting events -- from the kids' soccer field  to the professional baseball park.  It seems as though we as a society no longer know how to interact with one another and treat each other with respect.

What does civility mean anyway?  The dictionary defines it as the formal politeness that results from observing social conventions.  I personally believe that these social conventions are very important.  Everyone deserves to be heard and to be treated with respect.  It is essential to a healthy workplace.  Leaders modeling bad behavior set the tone for the rules of engagement at work. 

There is nothing more demoralizing to an employee than being ignored; it is equally disheartening to not be listened to, or when you do speak, to be spoken to in condescending manner.  When you witness coworkers being mistreated -- you are happy that it is not happening to you -- but you have been sent a very clear message yourself.  That message is if you speak up or disagree, you too may be the next one to get this kind of treatment.  The objective is to silence anyone who has a different opinion.  This lack of collegial interaction can lead to very poor business decisions, and most certainly leads to bad employee morale. 

Disrespect does not engender a highly motivated workforce.  Employees do not feel empowered to be creative, to give the job their best or to care about the workplace or leader who does not care about them.  Lack of the basic civilities does not promote a happy, healthy workplace nor does it promote happy, healthy employees.  Since employees are the most important asset that a entity has (particularly a civil service organization) it is important that they want to return each day.  And despite the fact that employees will tell you they leave work at their door step when they arrive home each day, their mind and body know that they do not. 

In sharing your thoughts and feelings on this blog site it is important to me that you say what you mean and mean what you say, but do not say it in a mean way.  If we are civil, we can all be heard and respected for our own individual thoughts and feelings -- and trust can grow as a result.  You each have your own unique perspective and unique voice and I want your voice to be heard.  Having said that, I reserve the right to edit out any uncivil or disrespectful comments -- those kinds of comments just get in the way of a meaningful discussion. 

As a very good friend once told me, someone will hate what you have to say; someone will love what you have to say; but someone out there will absolutely need to hear what you have to say -- so say it in such a way that you can be heard.

To be continued.....

   

#1 Introduction to My Work’s Life

Welcome to the first edition of My Work’s Life.  I decided to create this blog because I have a passion and an apparent talent for understanding all aspects of the workplace and how they can impact our lives.   I want to share my knowledge and provide clarity to many of you trying to navigate your workplace. 

Supporting a positive work environment has been my life’s work for over 25 years.  I have taken enough classes from a variety of sources to have earned a PhD in functional and dysfunctional workplaces.  Yet I claim no titles, no degrees – I am not a trained psychologist -- I am a trained observer and supporter of both management and staff as they traverse through the workplace.

Work really does take on a life of its own.   It gets intertwined throughout every facet of our lives.  If we love what we do and where we work, life can be pretty good.  If, on the other hand, the job is literally sucking the life out of us, and we feel less than appreciated, it is quite another story.  This range of experiences and many more, will be the topics for this blog site.

My goal for this blog is to provide readers with wisdom, insight, support and encouragement in managing the complexities of the workplace.  I hear from people all the time who say, “I just don’t understand what is going on at work."  I hope to provide some help to those of you who feel this way.

While I have much to convey, I know that this is a two way street.  I will continue to grow and learn from every one of you who shares their thoughts on this blog site.  I look forward to this being a mutually beneficial endeavor.

My desire is that over time we can respect, trust and perhaps even develop a friendship of sorts.

            “Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, “What! You too! I thought I was the only one.”

                                                                                                C.S. Lewis

 Just know that you will not be the only one. 

I am very excited about this adventure and invite you to join me. 

Let the journey begin! Lewis once