Vol. 2.14 26 Acts of Kindness

I am sure that by now most of you have heard of 26 Acts of Kindness started by NBC's Ann Curry.  She was imploring all people to randomly reach out to others and offer them some form of kindness.  This was started as a result of the shootings in Newtown, Connecticut right before Christmas.

Late last week, I was the recipient of one of those random acts.  It was cold and foggy and I was drinking my first cup of coffee and reading the newspaper -- contemplating what I would do with my day.  Suddenly I heard the garbage truck roll past my house.  I jumped to attention.  Good grief!!  All of my cans, be they recycle, green waste or just garbage were overflowing from the holidays.  They needed to be emptied but they were not out at the curb side.

Knowing that I still had on my night clothes, but I also a robe and slippers, I ran like a banshee outside.  I was trying to quickly decide between green and recycle as he only had one other house to stop at before mine.  I glanced toward my neighbors' because they are always early and right about which bins to set out.  But this time, they let me down -- they had no cans out -- was everyone gone?

I grabbed a recycle bin just as he was pulling up in front of my house.  I pointed at the recycle.  He shook his head no.  I started to reach for my two cans of yard waste, but just as I was doing that--he slid out of the garbage truck and said, "Let me take care of that for you", in the most pleasant voice I heard in forever.  Time stopped.  What had he said?  As I stood in disbelief, he further stated,  "I have gloves on and it is cold out here".  Say what?  I tried to mumble something to thank him as I reached for my household garbage can.  He then said, "I can take care of that for you too."  I felt like I needed to pinch myself, but I recovered my composure and I thanked him profusely.  He just turned and said, "No problem, I hope you have a very nice day".

I was floored.  I rushed into the house and immediately looked in the mirror.  After glancing at my reflection, I thought perhaps he was trying to save me from the embarrassment of having my neighbors see me, or he was doing it just to protect his own eyes -- I was not exactly a lovely sight.  I can't guess his motives.  But maybe he just wanted to do something nice for someone -- little ole me.  I will never know, but I sure do thank him.  And he did make my day.  I was in the best mood the rest of the day.

I felt so good and was happy that someone had taken a bit of their time to help me.  I suddenly thought about the 26 Acts of Kindness and realized I had been given a gift of one -- at that moment, I decided to play it and 25 others forward.  As of today, I am  up to number three.  It may take me a while to get to all 26, but I will get there in this soon to be new year.

I highly recommend being kind and helpful to others.  The reward is like no other -- and besides it is very good for the soul.

Happy New Year's Everyone!!

Vol. 2.13 "Ride the Ride You Get"

Those words were spoken by Tammy McDonald, a very wise horse trainer for young girls, including my granddaughter.  At each horse show the girls would whine and complain about a judge, another horse, or some other circumstance beyond their control.  Tammy would tell the girls that they needed to "ride the ride you get".  She wanted them to focus on what they could do and not on all of the outside distractions; in other words, don't focus on things that you are not responsible for.

Such simple horse sense...but so difficult to do.  Acceptance of circumstances beyond our control is hard  especially if a solution seems so simple and within reach.  However, not everyone sees issues the same way.  There are just as many people invested in their own outcomes -- not yours, and you have no control over their thoughts and actions.

What is really important to understand is that you are only responsible for yourself -- your one voice and your own opinions, your own actions.  Once words leave your mouth or you share your written words, you have no control over the thoughts, feelings or actions of others.

As I mentioned in the last blog, we all want outcomes.  We are taught cause and effect and we expect the world should work that way, but if often does not.  When we don't get heard or we are ignored, after a few times, we just give up in frustration and stop trying.  That is our biggest mistake. We need to hang in there and just keep speaking up and out, keep writing and sharing ourselves.

Speaking up may be hard, but what is even harder and more destructive to our own sense of ourselves and self-worth is doing nothing.  Our sense of who we are and our importance to the world diminishes.  Our egos take a beating and a sense of helplessness and hopelessness sets in often leading to depression and a downward spiral.

"Ride the ride you get".  Accept what you cannot change (at least immediately) and what you can change -- maybe it is only your attitude.  And let that be your plan of action.  Be true to yourself.  Take care of your health and speak up for yourself and share your thoughts and feelings in a reasoned and respectful way.  You never know who is listening out there, and in the meantime, you will feel so much better for having done so.

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